I’ve been reading some great end-of-year and new-start reflections. I am inspired and also want to move forward in a powerful way. I am sharing a few of my own because I am done with struggling and striving in silence, and I would love to be seen and supported. I’d also love to invite partnerships and collaborations where we might be in alignment. As I imagine it probably has for most people in these times, darkness and deep pain have visited me regularly, and frankly, I’m not sure that they’re done with me. I made a conscious effort in 2018 to acquire new practices and habits for seeing myself and elevating myself; and I have re-committed to some that have served me well in the past and continue to do so – when I remember to choose them over addiction and self-soothing.
Among my most cherished experiences and achievements in 2018:
• I joined and led communities where we are welcome and encouraged to be seen and held as we are; in our shared sacredness, imperfections and vulnerability. These are circles where we strive to practice and cultivate values of personal growth, deep respect, regard for our beautiful planet, and peaceful coexistence. I feel deep gratitude for all of my sisters and brothers genuinely engaged with these principles.
• I started a nonprofit organization whose mission is to connect, collaborate and elevate in situations where human rights and fair opportunities for growth and contribution have been disallowed by war and social constructs. I feel deep respect for all of the hearts and souls I have had the honor to touch and partner with in this effort.
• I re-launched the Red Tent movement in Eindhoven, Netherlands, and look forward to expanding this movement around the world.
• I swam in the magical waters of Hawaii, traveled through lava caves, and witnessed a volcanic eruption. I breathed the crystal clean air and experienced the healing vortices of Sedona. I also gazed in awe upon, and - reluctantly - swam, in the magnificent blue Aegean sea, where thousands of people continue to cross in treacherous conditions, and in which waters many have lost their lives in desperate attempts to preserve their lives and reach freedom.
• I visited and danced at glorious sacred sites in Odisha, India, where I witnessed breathtaking beauty, craftsmanship, devotion, and artistry, among a backdrop of startling poverty and environmental crisis. I was gifted with another gorgeous piece of Odissi choreography – which I am nearly ready to share, and for which I am seeking performance opportunities! : )
• I expanded my communities of women, artists, activists, healers, rebels, and men and women around the world striving for a more peaceful coexistence.
• I became clear about the nature of making choices.
• I have recognized the power of identifying and behaving as a victim.
• I have recognized the power of identifying and behaving as a sovereign being unto myself.
• I recognized, with great pain and regret, the destructive, suffocating and deadening influence the emotion and belief system of shame has had on my life.
In order to move forward in a productive way, I am leaving these things behind:
• Letting anxiety or fear of failure stop me from pursuing my heart’s desires
• Puffy eyes
• Squishy belly
• Feeling dead
• Excessive caffeine (again)
• Letting people drain me
• Stagnant relationships
• Worrying about what people think of me
• Self-doubt and self-battering
• Being passive when what I really want is to be heard and seen
• Screen addiction
• Shame
I feel enormous gratitude for (not an exhaustive list):
• Freedom to travel the world; many worldly experiences, and international community.
• A healthy body, healthy and loving family, a warm and beautiful home, nutritious food, beautiful warm clothes, endless opportunities to study, explore and express my true nature, and a passport.
• Connections with people who care deeply about me, and our shared values of deep respect, honest communication (even when it’s painful), health, creative living, and spreading peace, prosperity and vitality to all corners of the Earth.
• Many invaluable “aha” moments
What I would love to manifest in 2019:
• A fearless relationship with my creativity, sensuality and instinct.
• The skill to anchor myself in calm confidence in any situation.
• A wild and fierce sensation of being intimately engaged with all aspects of life.
• Conception and first steps toward creating a unique body of work that will change the way humans relate to each other, for the better.
• Elegant and captivating Odissi dance performances
• A powerful and vibrant community of women that is up to the task of leading the world into a new era of peace and prosperity.
• Honest, passionate, and creative relationships.
• Activities, friendships and business endeavors that are in service to humanity, creative expression, and peace.
In 2019 my wish is that we will open our eyes, ears and hearts, heal our bodies, interact curiously, behave compassionately, and touch ourselves and one another with gentleness and deep respect.
Aho
Guiding words for 2018:
Wildly Alive
People, Planet and Peace
❤️🙏🌍✌️☮️