How Does a Woman Come to Realize Her Most Glorious Self?

Women are of the soil.  Ideas, aspirations, and dreams, like life itself, if they are to thrive, are seeded, nourished, fertilized and held to the sun in order to grow.  Inevitable weeds must be pulled, storms endured, and hands-in-dirt tending is required. 

In gardening, and in cellular, emotional, and spiritual regeneration, the art of composting is a practice and skill that must be undertaken.  In modern society, it is likely that many of us have not had time, nor a mature and safe place for emotional expression, deep meditation, and free-wheeling transformative imaginings.  Just as our body’s metabolic fire transforms food into fuel for life and waste products to be eliminated; we can turn our psychic and emotional soil, lovingly pull weeds and burn off impurities, and dare to speak aloud our dreams and desires so they can benefit from the sun’s rays.    

Many of us hold decades-old wounds and suffering in our wombs, our hearts, and other parts of our physical and emotional body.  This is likely causing us a great deal of emotional and physical pain personally, and undoubtedly complicating our relationships.  Emotional baggage travels insidiously and sinuously through communities and generations.  Thus, manifestations of illness and dysfunction, as well as history repeating itself, are seen again and again, and we scratch our heads wondering why. 

The Red Tent is where women come together in solidarity; to take a stand for ourselves, for one another, and to take responsibility for the role we play in shaping our health, relationships, communities, and the world. 

This is the place where your story meets the ethos, in candlelight and fragrant air; where you are not judged or told how it is and what you should do about it.  In this space your tears can flow freely, your rage can be given back to the Earth.  This is where your experiences, emotions, and insights are given room to breathe; and where life lessons and your truest yearnings can emerge and be shaped into seeds, ready to be sown and fertilized by your own hands.

This process of regeneration is quite natural, intuitive and cyclical; it just needs a bit of quietude, spaciousness and presence. 

Join us for an evening of meditation and conversation under the new moon that will honor where each of us has been, and ripen seeds for new beginnings.    

Come grow GLORIOUS with us. 

Read more about the Red Tent here.

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We Found Our Voices in the Red Tent

We had a gorgeous, heartfelt, playful evening in the Red Tent this week. Our friend Floor Hofman pushed us a bit out of our comfort zones with an exploration of voice, sounds, and creative collaboration.

We closed the evening by chanting together in harmony:
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu

Meaning: May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to freedom for all.

Blue flowers and blue stones to nourish the throat chakra, the energy center in the body related to communication, expression and truth. 💙

Conversations in the Red Tent: Finding Our Voices

The first time I realised that my voice was so much more than just a tool to sing songs with was when I was ten years old and my singing teacher told me that if I would feel nervous for my test in school, I could always do some vocal exercises to calm myself down.

As years passed I realised more and more that she was right and I started to explore what using my voice could bring me.

Singing grounds me and makes me turn inwards while at the same time, it makes me fill up the space, or even the people around me, with energy. It is communicating inwards and to the outside world at the same time. To me these two complementary movements make singing a practice of taking my place in the world.

How often do we speak, only focusing on the words we say, without noticing what sounds comes with them?

As a little exercise, you could try to listen to your own voice in the next conversation you are going to have.

Are your words long or short?

Is your voice high or low?

Where is your voice coming from? From your belly, chest, throat or mouth?

How much space does your voice take up?

Please join us in the Red Tent on June 4th where we will explore these questions together, and we will be guided to experiment with the full range and potential of our voices!

Written and offered by Floor Hofman, an active member of our Red Tent community. Floor has been singing and creating songs from a very young age. From the age of 12 till 18, she performed with a band at festivals and in theaters like Parktheater, Effenaar, Folkwoods, Muziekgebouw in Eindhoven, Cacaofabriek and Speelhuis in Helmond, and Carré in Amsterdam. When she started her education at the Design Academy Eindhoven, though she performed less often, she never stopped singing. Now she works as a freelance documentary filmmaker and designer. 

Learn more about the Red Tent here.
June event details here.

RSVP here

Conversations in the Red Tent: Un-earthing Shame

Join us in the Red Tent Friday, March 15, 2019, at 19.30 at Yoga Yuj yoga studio in Eindhoven. Read more about the Red Tent here.

You might ask, WHY would anyone want to gather on a Friday night to talk about such a GHASTLY topic????

My answer: Thoughtful conversations about things that matter in our human experience are daring, a bit uncomfortable, and potentially life-changing.

These are my observations about shame, and why I’d like to invite you into a conversation about it:

Shame creeps underground. It lurks in the things we don’t want to talk about, or the things that we have been conditioned not to talk about: Sex. Politics. Religion. Feelings deemed “negative.” Through media and social conditioning, it is strewn about - intentionally and unintentionally - in ideas about appearance and body image, our menstrual cycle, physical and mental health, pregnancy, motherhood, parenting decisions, income and social class, education and professional status, aging, and so on.

Shame is a weapon of social destruction and, when internalized, self-sabotage.

When words are used to embarrass, bully, or over-ride another person’s voice, we are wielding shame. It can be deployed silently with a look or an eyeroll. By withholding love. It can be used strategically and manipulatively; to shut someone up, or invalidate their opinion. When there is an uncomfortable silence in the room, or in a relationship, there’s a good chance that shame is present. It’s often laughed off.

While we attempt with our words to teach our children to be kind and respect one another, we read magazines that “expose” the dark and embarrassing secrets of celebrities’ private lives, and engage in politics epitomized by the White House annual press dinner where the spectacle of embarrassing dignitaries through “comedy” is a tradition. In sales and marketing maneuvers, fake and glamorous images incite shame to sell us the miracle cures and solutions that will make us feel better about ourselves.

Shame is a silent, shadowy and insidious killer. It kills our enthusiasm, our creativity, our life force energy, our sense of self, our libido, our relationships, and our health. I’m not a researcher or a psychiatrist, but I have spent more than a few moments in the grip of shameful feelings. I would go out on a limb to surmise that it has something to do with epidemic rates of addiction, depression, sexual dysfunction, violent behaviors, and even suicide around the world.

The energy it takes to conceal it is agonizing and exhausting.

Will you join me in bringing this conversation out of the dark and into the light?

Awareness is liberating. Conscious decisions are empowering. Sharing harnesses the wisdom of our collective experiences, expands our capacity for meaningful connection and collaboration, and helps us grow.

This facilitated discussion will encourage us to recognize behaviors, words, and social situations that incite shame, and develop what shame researcher Brené Brown calls “shame resilience.”

“Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor - the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant "To speak one's mind by telling all one's heart." Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences -- good and bad. Speaking from our hearts is what I think of as "ordinary courage.”

― Brené Brown, I Thought It Was Just Me: Women Reclaiming Power and Courage in a Culture of Shame

Recommended (but not required) reading that will lend insight for this conversation: I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t): Making the Journey from “What Will People Think” to “I Am Enough,” and Daring Greatly, both by Brené Brown

Download Brené Brown’s “I Thought It Was Just Me” worksheet here.

As always, the evening will include meditation, movement practice or free-style dance, light refreshments, and heartfelt sharing among like-minded souls.

Join us in the Red Tent. <3

Contact Jennifer to RSVP

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You Are Invited to an Intimate Conversation About: Sexual Sovereignty for Women: what is it, and why do we need to talk about it?

Red Tent Eindhoven, Friday, January 4, 2019

I was recently led to deeply explore the concept of Sexual Sovereignty for women.  As I continue to grow and reflect on my experiences as a child, young woman, mother, healer, activist, and creatrix of my own life, it has become perfectly clear that there are some dark and complex root causes – belief systems, behavior patterns, and misunderstandings - that are feeding the hungry ghosts of modern popular, social and political culture.   

These phenomena get into our heads and perpetually feed soundbites of dissonance, shame, and endless arguments into our individual and collective psyches.  These soundbites, both discretely and overtly, co-opt thoughtful conversations and even overrun our innate wisdom, and impose ideas about what we should do, how we should act, what’s beautiful, what’s important, what success means, and even what’s sexy and what’s not.  These thoughts and beliefs – that don’t belong to us – can take root in our psyches and insidiously erode our physical and emotional health, self esteem, relationships, and ability to effectively create our hearts’ desires. 

I’d like to ask:  What if we took back the conversation, and the right to make decisions about our own lives, especially in the realm of our deepest, most tender selves – the realm of sexuality; our innate, universal capacity to create and express ourselves in the world?  

I wonder, how would the world be different for women (and men) if….

Our education around sex, relationships and menstruation included deep, thoughtful discussions among our peers, that were guided by women more mature and experienced than us?  What if these deep, rich, tender conversations encouraged us to explore and practice, at a young age, the concepts of freedom, individuality, pleasure, deep respect, sacredness, and responsibility?   

What if, as young women, we had been gifted with a place, a practice, and a paradigm for developing ourselves as wildly creative feminine beings? 

What if, at a very early age, we received guidance that lead to an understanding of our pleasure anatomy?   What if it was part of growing up from girl to woman to know how our bodies worked; how to cultivate profound health, vitality, creativity and emotional maturity?  What if we knew, from a young age, that pleasure was as essential to our wellbeing as breath, water, nutritious food, exercise, and sound sleep?

Imagine if we learned, through rites of passage and the example of wise women and mentors, how to develop a deeply personal and devotional practice that cultivated wisdom, integrity, and responsibility around our emotional and sexual behavior?  

If, from the beginning, we knew that we were cherished, and that our contributions to our families and communities, and as stewardesses of the Earth, would make or break the future of humanity, would we perceive ourselves differently?  Would we behave differently? 

What if we learned that our resonance – our felt state of being – leaves a greater imprint than our words, or even our actions? 

What if we were raised and enculturated to know that sexual energy is an innate and inseparable aspect of our humanity….. that sexual energy is not different from “life” energy,
“digestive” energy, or energy that we expend when we exercise…. that it exists and has the potential to thrive exclusive of a partner, and that it represents a wellspring of creative and vital resource?

How would our choices be different if we understood that suffocated, repressed, or left untapped, our sexuality could wither, and with it so too would our impulse to shine radiantly, naturally, and unabashedly?  What if it was obvious to us that suppression of our sexuality would leave us in a lower, more tired, and possibly even stagnant state of physical, emotional and mental function?

How would we feel different if our activities in the world were grounded in a deep knowing of ourselves; an understanding of our cellular and physiologic functioning?  What if it was common knowledge that our physical and emotional currents are natural, normal, and powerful beyond measure?   

What if there was no fear and no shame around sexuality?  If, we, as women, felt deeply happy, confident, peaceful, and in alignment with our deepest desires? 

Would this be a game changer?

Can we imagine for a moment, how the world would change if the emotional currents that make us sick (fear, shame, anger, anxiety….) could be transformed into sensitivity, compassion, generosity, wisdom, and purposeful, courageous action? 

What if it were a universally recognized human right that all human beings have full authority to make decisions about what happens to and in their bodies?   

What if it were obvious to all humans that the practical definition of courage is taking action with sensitivity, vulnerability, and a deep, thoughtful sense of purpose? 

How would our relationships and communities be different if the fierce respect, clarity and conviction that we consciously cultivated in ourselves translated seamlessly to profound respect and conviction for the freedom and sovereignty of others? 

What if a shift in ourselves - in our self perception, and our physiology -  could change the game, for everyone, in a big way? 

If you are a man and you read this far – THANK YOU for your curiosity, and THANK YOU for caring about us.  I have a question for you too:  How would it feel for you to witness the women in your life feeling wildly alive, creative, beautiful, deeply relaxed and fully empowered?   

Sexual Sovereignty for women is a concept developed, researched, and taught for over 25 years by Saida Désilets, creator of the Désilets Method, “a psychosexual system that creates more pleasure, sexual aliveness, and deep self-love.”  

Recommended (but not required) reading for our next Red Tent circle:  Emergence of the Sensual Woman, Awakening Our Erotic Innocence:  The Sacred Teachings of the Jade Goddess, By Saida Désilets, Ph.D.

Contact the event host to confirm your attendance

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